


Is It Not Enough

by Niwgamme



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: 3 + 1 Things, Blood, Gen, M/M, Nosebleed, Possible Character Death, Pre-Slash, Sorry Not Sorry, Terminal Illnesses
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-20
Updated: 2015-01-20
Packaged: 2018-03-08 10:01:17
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3205136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Niwgamme/pseuds/Niwgamme
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>3 times Rin's nose started bleeding and one time somebody noticed.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Is It Not Enough

i.

_What is this?_

There were red dots where there were white blank sheets of papers he was currently doing his homework on. 

_But? From where?_

More dots appeard next to the ones already on the papers.

_Huh? His nose?_

Rin's hand shot up to feel at his nose. Sure enough, it was bleeding. _What a pain!_ He looked around his desk and took a few napkins, holding them to his bleeding nose.

All the commotion caught Yukio's attention, who was sitting on his bed, reading manga in his free time. He saw Yukio look up before quickly turning away, pretending to be doing his homework.

"Nii-san?" Rin knew his brother would make a too much big of a deal out of his bleeding nose. He didn't bother answering, only got up from his chair and left the room. He headed straight for the communal washroom. He stopped in front of a mirror to inspect his nose.

Sure enough, it looked like he was punched in the nose, given, without an actual damage to the nose.

It took some time, but the bleeding eventually stopped and he washed his face to get rid of any remaining spots. He noticed there was a small spot on his white shirt and when he tried to wash it, the area around the blood drop turned pink. Damn.

He threw the red-coloured napkins into a trash bin. Then he heard a knock on the door, which was ridiculous, he was in a communal washroom, no need to knock. He was grateful nonetheless, he didn't want his brother to have seen him a moment ago.

Yukio walked in, wearing a worried expression. "Nii-san? Are you alright?"

Rin laughed it off, and grinned at his brother. "Yeah, yeah! I just had to pee, ya creeper!"

Yukio made a bewildered expression, making a sound of utter disbelief at his brother.

 

ii.

It happened again a week later when he was on his way from the class. He was walking next to Shiemi who was excitedly talking about a costumer who visited their shop. Apparently, he came all the way from Vatican just to buy a... a- something or another. It's not like he could be bothered with remembering all the plants' names.

Especially when he had more important things on his mind. At the moment, it was the feeling of something dripping from his nose.

Rin quickly reached into his pocket to grab a paper tissue and pretended to be blowing his nose.

"Sorry Shiemi," he talked through the tissue, while hoping it didn't colour enough for Shiemi to notice. Nosebleeds were embarassing. "I forgot something in the class." He ran off, leaving a confused friend behind. "Don't wait up!"

 _Damn, damn, damn._ That was close.

 

iii.

He was feeling downright awful. He wanted to climb onto his bed and sleep for the rest of the day. He was mildly coughing the whole day and his head was spining a little.

Unfortunately, he was on an important mission with all of his friends. Yukio was not here, thank god, otherwise, he would be pestering him about being here feeling unwell.

"Hurry up, will ya?!" Bon yelled at him. Granted, he couldn't be blamed for loosing his patience with Rin. They were, after all, chased by a pack of ghouls after their failed attempt at exorcising a demon out of a ten year old girl. Nasty little beast was so nice to send a stinking dead dogs after them.

Rin felt dizzy as they continued running and was falling behind. Bon kept the pace with him and they slowly separated from the others. 

When they decided they ran long enough, they stopped in a dimly lit alley. Rin was bent in half, gasping, trying to catch his breath. The cough didn't help and he fell into a coughing fit. 

"Sounds nasty, ye'r okay?" Bon showed genuine concern. Rin raised his thumb, still in the same possition as he continued coughing.

He felt really bad. Worse than this morning, worse than he had felt in a while. He was covering his mouth with his hands and felt something wet in them. Gross. Did he just coughed out mucus?

His lungs calmed a bit after then and he looked at his hands.

_Red._

_What?_

His heart clenched. As much as he tried and dismissed the previous cases, he had to admit this was not normal. Something was wrong with him. A feeling of dread ran through his body.

Then small red drops fell on his opened palm.

_No, no, no! Not now!_

"You okay Rin?" Bon asked worriedly after a few minutes Rin had stayed quiet just staring at his hands. Rin was thankful for the dark alley. It wasn't hard to hide the evidence of what was going on. He wiped his nose with the back of his hand, then with his fingers for a good measure, then continued to wipe his hands on his black uniform.

"'M good! Just swallowed a spit."

"Ew, screw you Okumura."

 

iv.

Rin woke up gasping in his bed. The nosebleed was a frequent occurence by now, but he could never get used to the dreadful coughing. Rin wasn't afraid of many things, but this was one thing that scared him to death.

This one time he couldn't control himself and felt tears on his cheeks from how it bothered him. He ought to have told someone already but something held him back. 

What if it was serious after all? How could it not be? It wasn't disappearing, if anything, it was all becoming more frequent the longer he delayed telling someone.

He wanted it gone. But he was afraid. He'd only worry the others. And if he tells someone, they'll only make him go to the doctor and they'll only tell him he has some incurable disease or something. 

What was his demon blood for when he was in pain?

He closed his eyes as his heart calmed, still stitting on the bed, legs covered by sheets. Rin breathed in deeply through his nose. His head started to spin and he felt dizzy.

Enough.

That is enough. He can't do this alone anymore. A shiver ran down his back at the thought of telling his brother. Please, don't be mad at me.

He moved the sheets away and got up with mission in his mind. He needs to find Yukio. He barely made three steps from the bed when he keeled over with the force of the cough that made its way up his throat.

Then, there were hands on his waist, supporting him upright. "Eh?"

No no no nonono. He knew the voice. He couldn't look up, he couldn't shove the green-haired demon away, he couldn't move. His whole body hurt. He wanted it to stop.

"Rin?" the curiosity in the demon's voice was clear and it made him sick. Was he there to laugh at him? He needs to find Yukio.

Amaimon grabbed Rin by his chin and turned his head to make him look at him. He frowned when he saw the blood pouring from his nose and the corner of his mouth.

He looked...worried?

"Yukio." he gasped out. He wanted to say more. He wasn't alone and he needed help, even if it meant asking a demon.

"Rin, what's wrong? Why are you bleeding?" Rin felt very light in Amaimon's arms. He had no doubt the demon found him almost weightless.

They didn't have time to waste. Rin felt extremely weak. Is this it? The end? Will he never see Yukio again? Kuro? Bon? Shima? Koneko? Shiemi? Izumo? Shura? If this is the end, why did he have to spend it with Amaimon?

He felt tears in his eyes as he slumped completely into Amaimon's arms. They were embracing him and it felt almost intimately warm. It was nice, being hugged like this.

"Rin?" there was a hint of panic in Amaimon's voice as he tilted his head and examined his half brother.

Rin's eyes felt heavier and he whispered with the strenght he had left "'M sorry." And he was. He was sorry for abandoning his brother this way, for leaving his friends behind, for killing his father, for causing Kuro new pain of loss. He was sorry he couldn't keep his promise to his father. He wanted to be a good person, a great exorcist and the one who kills Satan.

An angry expression crossed Amaimon's face. "This is not fun. I came to play. Play with me, Rin." Rin had no strenght to answer to that. He'd send him to screw himself anyway, so perhaps it was for the best he couldn't speak. 

The green-haired demon kicked the floor with the sole of his shoe with such force the floor cracked and the building stirred. That ought to have alerted anyone who was in or near the dormitory, namely his brother.

"This is no way to go." Amaimon growled. Rin was barely conscious, but he still registered the was Amaimon acted. It wasn't the child-like demon he saw in their previous encounters. 

A green glow appeared in his and his brother's room. In his weakest point, he was going to be taken away to die in Gehenna. With Amaimon. So what, it's not like he had too much time to worry about it.

As they crossed the portal's threshold, the door into his room burst open, revealing a panting Yukio.

His brother's eyes widened when he saw bloody Rin held bridestyle in Amaimon's arms.

Ah, so he got to see Yukio one last time. Thank god.

His brother screamed something at him helplessly before the portal closed, closing Yukio off.

That's okay. He was granted his last wish.

Rin's eyes closed, but not before he looked up at Amaimon, who smiled at him down. "Welcome home, Rin."

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> I leave the ending open for everyone to interpret.


End file.
